The Emerald City

A Man of Wealth and Taste

Posted in poetry,rants,society by Scaramouche on 29 September, 2008

I am the lowest common denominator, which sounds like a superhero name if you try. I am the dark and most perverted midnight in a crowded nightclub where all the men who should know better leer at girls too young to care and both are left feeling slightly and inexplicably betrayed. I am the sleepless night and the wasted day, and I will come for you when you are too afraid to watch out in front of you. I am the hastily written note of farewell while a taxi waits outside to take us somewhere free. I am the grown-up rebel, with a mortgage and three kids in school and a leather jacket gathering moths in the skeleton-crowded closet. I am the faked smile in the family photo, the same dull anecdote, the drink and the smoke every night that’s gonna kill you one of these days. Then again, won’t everything? Only if you let it, I suppose. I am the laughter at a stranger’s misfortune, the endless ridicule, the backstabbing.

Pleased to meet you — won’t you guess my name?


reprint, but who cares

Posted in Uncategorized by Scaramouche on 6 September, 2008

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, MP3 Player, or whatever on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

* If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
History — Tenacious D

* How would you describe yourself?
Death On Two Legs (Dedicated To…) — Queen

* What do you like in a guy/girl?
Playing To Win — Wayne Krawchuk

* How do you feel today?
Billy Brown — Mika

* What is your life’s purpose?
A Sentimental Man — Wicked

* What is your motto?
Flying Home (Scat Version) — Ella Fitzgerald

* What do your friends think of you?
Sheena Is A Punk Rocker — The Ramones

* What do you think of your parents?
Heaven’s Light Hell’s Fire — Hunchback of Notre Dame
[god, yes, totally.]

* What do you think about very often?
My Heart Will Go On — Celine Dion

* What is 2 + 2?
So She Dances — Josh Groban
[would rather dance than do math.]

* What do you think of your best friend?
Off By Heart — City And Colour

* What do you think of the person you like?
I Will Always Return — Bryan Adams
[I still feel your breath on my skin, I hear your voice deep within; the sound of my lover, a feeling so strong… oh, it’s to you I’ll always belong.]

* What is your life story?
Sally Ann — Natalie Merchant
[a woman of beauty, a woman of pain…]

* What do you want to be when you grow up?
How Long Must This Go On? — Beauty and the Beast

* What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Canon In D — Pachelbel
[because together we’re like an amazing harmony, blending and soaring together.]

* What will you dance to at your wedding?
The Loser In The End — Queen

* What will they play at your funeral?
One Small Kindness — Wayne Krawchuk

* What is your hobby/interest?
Nothing I’ve Ever Known — Bryan Adams

* What is your biggest fear?
In The Water I Am Beautiful — City And Colour

*What is your biggest secret?
Don’t Stop Believing — Journey

* What do you think of your friends?
On The Road Again — Canned Heat

* What will you post this as?
Sam Malone — City And Colour

he’s leaving home

Posted in change,depression,life,love,relationships by Scaramouche on 1 September, 2008

So, it’s happening. By this time tomorrow, my gentleman friend will be at Wilfrid Laurier University, in Waterloo.

I… words can’t even describe how much this hurts. How much I am going to miss him. I know it’s silly; he’s coming home on Saturday and we’ll see each other, and he’s promised to text me and write. But… still, I feel like I’m losing half of myself. I keep crying randomly, and I don’t *want* to because I know it’s so stupid and illogical. He’ll be home soon, and I’ll see him, and I’ll keep talking to him online, but I miss him, and it’s so fucking hard to let go of him now.

On the 12th of September, it’ll be nine months. By Christmas, it will be one full year. I’ve never been this close to that goal. Before him, my longest relationship was 5 and a half months, and it really ended two months prior to that, we just dragged it on unnecessarily. But, with him… the novelty hasn’t worn off. Every other boy I’ve met has some inherent flaw, preventing me from wanting to be with them. With him, that’s not true. With him, he seems to *have* no flaws. It’s amazing, perfect, too good to be true.

But it is true. And he does love me. For almost nine months he’s loved me, and I can’t see it stopping now, not when we’re closer than ever before, not after everything we’ve been through.

I love him devotedly, and I know he feels the same. Everything is going to be okay.

Please, I just need to believe it today…