The Emerald City


a correction to an earlier post

Posted in blog,confusion,random by Scaramouche on 31 January, 2008

I ranted about spelling a few months ago. I mentioned that someone posted “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs” as a song title.

It turns out this is an actual song title. It’s by Fall Out Boy (which explains why I was not previously aware of its existence).

Things I didn’t know.

um… hi!

Posted in blog,confusion by Scaramouche on 29 July, 2007

So, apparently my ex-boyfriend’s mom reads my blog.

Hi there! Sorry for what I did. I was a jerk. But I don’t think he hates me anymore, and I’m still his friend.  Please don’t be mad at me too much.

an explanation and an apology

Posted in affection,change,confusion,depression,future,life,relationships by Scaramouche on 30 April, 2007

Sorry I haven’t been posting recently. A lot has been happening. School is a mess. But mostly, the reason I haven’t posted lately is because my grandma’s been sick. Actually… last Tuesday, the 24th of April, she died. Things have been kind of hectic. I’ve been depressed. She was a really big part of my life, and even though I wanted to say something about her, I haven’t been able to.

It was her funeral today. It was a beautiful day. She would’ve loved it. The service was nice, with her favourite hymns. I even played a solo on my flute. The song was “The Last Rose of Summer”. She loved it when I played it for her, and it felt only fitting that I should play it for her then. The acoustics in the church were amazing, and I actually sounded really good. Afterward, so many people thanked me and complimented me. It was the most praise I’ve ever gotten in one day.

She was buried in Greenwood Cemetery, I think. It was a beautiful spot. The funeral procession drove past their house on Cedar Avenue, as she’d requested.

Something interesting happened: When we left the church, I saw this one bird circling around. It followed the funeral procession to the cemetery and watched her being interred, then flew off. It was a hawk, or something that looked like it. Grandma loved birds, and since I believe in reincarnation… I don’t know. But I think that was her. She wanted to see it. She was there. I know it.

So, that’s what’s been happening. Sorry for the lack of updates. I’ll get back on it, guys. I promise. <33 Love you all to bits.

what am I?

Posted in confusion,life,random,religion by Scaramouche on 9 April, 2007

For ages now, I’ve called myself pagan. I’ve said I was a “Celtic polytheist”. It never actually occurred to me that I may not have been right about that.

I am a pagan, I know that. But I am my own unique type of pagan. I don’t fit anywhere. I celebrate pagan religions, like Samhain and Beltane, but… I don’t know. Well, let me outline my real beliefs.

I believe that life is a miracle. Every drop of rain, every stone, every blade of grass is a gift from the gods. I believe strongly in reincarnation, and believe that I myself WAS reincarnated; I have the memories, the emotions, the heart, and the spirit of a wild horse. I believe that God is nature and everything in it. It is in the rain, it is in the trees, it is Everywhere. I believe in being true to oneself, and being who you are inside. I believe that there is more in Heaven and Earth than we could ever possibly be aware of. I believe in balance in nature, and in daily life. I believe in the celebration of life and in the living of each moment as though it were the last.

I don’t know what this makes me. I don’t particularly care to label myself. I am who I am. If that makes me strange, or freakish in some way… so be it.