The Emerald City

Dear Grandma:

Posted in death,depression,letters,life by Scaramouche on 24 July, 2007

I miss you. That’s the first thing I have to say. I miss you so much.

It’s just past two on the morning of July 24th. Almost 3 months exactly since you died. (No, I will not say words like passed on, or crossed over. You died. That’s it.)  A lot has changed since you left. I broke up with my boyfriend, Justin, but we’re still best friends. I really wish you could’ve met him. He’s strange, but a real sweetie. I think you’d like my current boyfriend better, though. And I know he would’ve liked you. He’s big and strong and bearded, but behind his tough exterior, he’s a kitten. And he treats me so well, you’d definitely approve of him.

I’m in a musical, did you know that? It’s called Grand Delusions. I don’t like it very much – it’s a really bad musical, and a lot of the guys in it are extremely creepy. Allison’s in it too. I’m really nervous; my part’s small, but I still don’t want to screw it up. Allison has a really huge part, it’s crazy. Of course, most of her lines are “What? WHAT?! … what?” and it’s hilarious.

I have a really bad cold. I keep coughing like crazy, it’s very depressing. I am surviving on Halls, and that’s about it. Admittedly not the HEALTHIEST diet, but they taste excellent. I think I’m kind of addicted, which is bad.

I’m wearing your shoes right now. Barb and Meghan came to visit, and said that I might like them. They’re a bit too big, but I’m wearing them anyway because they remind me of you. Have I mentioned that I miss you a LOT? Because I do. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish you were back, sending me funny emails and encouraging me to keep writing. I loved it when you told me I was good at it. I also got socks from them. Remember they gave you odd socks? Well, I “inherited” them. I love odd socks. They’re weird but also FANTASTIC.

Polly got a tattoo. It is very cute. It’s “the loudest sound”. An exclamation point with three curved lines in front of it. Difficult to describe.

I’m getting better at playing the flute. I got a 96 on my exam piece! I’m also getting better at drawing – I’ve figured out how to draw eyes perfectly

I’m going to try to write to you every month. On the 24th. I think that’s appropriate.

I love you, Grandma. Talk to you again next month.


my last day on earth

Posted in change,death,future,life,random by Scaramouche on 9 May, 2007

So, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Here is  a list of things I would do on my last day alive.

– dance in a public fountain
– stand on the roof of a building with a microphone and sing
– tell everyone EXACTLY what I think of them (“____, you’re a bitch. ____, you’re a slut. _____, you’re my best friend in the world and I love you to pieces.”)
– make out with as many random chicks as I can
– flash people. lots of people.
– scream “FIRE!” in the middle of a crowded theatre
– have wild, unprotected sex with Justin
– yell as many swearwords and insults as I can in front of the teachers I hate at school
– corrupt the youth
– at the end of the day, fall asleep in Justin’s arms and just never wake up

I like my plan. It is a good plan. Comments?